“This is our home.”
One simple sentence containing only four words, yet it’s taken me 11 months to feel comfortable saying it.
The other day, I was walking through the hallway of the guesthouse and it hit me, “I’m walking through OUR house.” The thought came out of nowhere. It didn’t stem out of pride or possessiveness or arrogance. Living at the guesthouse and being entrusted to care for it is a huge responsibility Jonathan and I do not take lightly. At the same time, however, I finally came to the realization that living in San Juan, living at guesthouse is where my home is now. I climbed the steps to rooms 11 & 12 and overlooked the busy street on the other side of the wall. I smiled as I watched people drive by. These people are my neighbors.
For the longest time, I’ve felt like a visitor here. I’ve felt like I don’t quite belong. It could be because I look different. It could be because I don’t understand the culture. It could be because I lacked confidence in what I was doing here. There were so many factors that played into me feeling this way, but it was mostly lies I was believing.
When Jonathan and I returned to San Juan at the beginning of January, something felt different. It was as though God not only renewed our strength, but he totally transformed our mindset. While we still had the same workload, we were accomplishing our daily tasks with ease. We had time for ourselves, time to relax. Little things were no longer stressing us out. We were able to laugh at our mistakes. Finally, I felt like I was home.
I look at the people who surround us. There are people from the States who understand us and our journey. There are people from this country, who support and love every single day, who encourage us and keep us laughing through the adventures of living here. Both groups of people play a very special role in our lives. We couldn’t do this journey without either group. So thank you to everyone – your prayers and love have helped us through.
Indiana will always be home to us….but now, so will San Juan.